Swallows and Amazons

Oh, hello.

I created these pages in the olden days and now find myself drawn back. I’ve been doing fish finger research you see and it turns out that in creating this blog I have also created one of the pre-eminent sources of fish finger trivia in the world ever.

This is a good legacy, I think. Since last here I’d created another, Whitney Houston, related legacy: naming a small room. It was well-named and ill-willed. It isn’t there anymore. 

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. Perfectly feasible. But then it goes a little down hill. Maybe it’s allegory.

 

 

 

 

Matthew and the drawing lesson

When I was in the very early stages of my school life I shared a desk with a boy called Matthew and a boy called Neil.

We drew pictures a lot. Really cool ones, I recall, using the inside cut out bit of a protractor to make aztec-y men/monsters.

We were not allowed to draw all the time as we had other things to do. Like learning to read I guess, I don’t remember.

So after spending some time drawing, the teacher (Mrs Campbell? Very likely dead now) would call time and ask us to get our books out.

This would make us sad.

Neil and I persuaded Matthew to ask if we could draw some more, just this once. He did and he was rebuked; he had failed us.

We made him ask again. Some flippant remark about after we’d finished the task at hand form the teacher gave us hope. We rushed through it and then sent Matthew to ask again.

She releneted. Matthew came back to the desk like a war hero, freshly escaped form enemy hands. We got out our drawing things.

But no. The teacher came over and said that only matthew could draw as he had been the one to ask so nicely, and so often.

Looking back I guess maybe she was teaching us a more valuable lesson or maybe she was just aware that our pushing of Matthew was too strong.

Who knows?

 

 

Angry mother castrates nasty boy, pictured with scissors

Today I have found a new blog which has pictures of angry people in local newspapers.

I like it very much. It is called ‘angry people in local newspapers’

When I was little the mum of a friend of mine wrote an open letter (via local paper) to the local police boss man after her son was accosted by nasty boys and the police didn’t do anything about it. The letter was very irate (not these nutters mind: http://ilkleyirate.org/) and included several references to castration. I remember it fondly.

Anyway, I think that it deserved a picture of her with a pair of scisssors.

It didn’t get one.

Please go and have a look:

http://apiln.blogspot.com/