A few days ago we all died.
This was mainly because Jesus was angry with an old man who had made lots of money telling people they were going to die. George Bush is not the President of America anymore.*
Why don’t I know about this? Have I been taken to heaven? Heaven is very similar to my old life, why is that? Why are there Monday mornings in Nirvana? These are just some of the questions you’ll be asking yourself as you read this, no doubt.
Well, thankfully a very famous footballer took out a superinjunction so no one is able to talk, think or recollect the rapture. I’m not sure why he did this. Penance?
*I’m never sure about the capitalisation of President/president here?